Y'all gotta see this...

Let me preface this by saying I know that i have in the past taken out some latent...misgivings... about our Yankee brethren north of the Mason Dixon. I do actually know a few that i like, a precious few, but a few nonetheless.

Yesterday, the two eldest Royals and i made some popcorn balls. Oh sure, there were grease pops and "OWWWW"'s and of course, the Prosecuting Attorney asked her endless questions, but we did finally accomplish the end product, which i've had three so far for breakfast! Here's the recipe if you'd like, it was fun and easy (of course, its from Paula Deen the unofficial torchbearer for Southern Gentility)...sadly, it was the first time they had ever seen popcorn popped on the stove. We'll certainly be doing more of THAT, there are some things a kid's just gotta know.

Anyhoo, i'm suckin' down a couple of those sucrose laden sticky bombs this morning and bumpin' around with my nose to the matrixial ground, huntin' for another recipe and bayed tree on this...Now HERE'S some blue coats i think i could hang wit. That Bwahston accent...nothin' like it, hey at least they live somewhere in the southern half of Mass. i suppose, and if not somewhat tributary, at least they try on a Southern patois.

Stabilizing cabin pressure...

Hello rubberneckers! I know it's been...a week. You'll have to forgive, i have a schedule, its not much of one but i'm accustomed to it, and it's been completely shredded in that amount of time. Things are normalizing and i'll be firing up the keystrokes a bit more tomorrow...but, in all honesty, that may be the only post, other than this one for the week...crazy times in The Kingdom, it'll slow down soon, and the writing will resume. But, in the spirit of "The Table" here's one for all you Epicureans...


And while your cleaning up the slobber, click here.

Tentatively speaking...

Man, i've been cookin' all day! We're gearing up for Fall Camp with our church and i'm tryin' to get all the food ready for the weekend. The meals are all basically a big potluck so its like a huge old school home cooked buffet! So today consisted of Texas brisket chili, seafood jambalaya, creole rice pudding, and Kahlua infused brownies with extra Lindt chocolate chunks...yeah baby!

I got the tent down outta the attic awhalla go. We had thought that it was gonna be too cold for tentin' but i got to thinkin' that me and The Prince could swing it. Its supposed to get down into the 30's...i think we can do it. Besides, like The Good Southern Gentlemen puts it..."that ain't really campin', its sleepin' outside." Well, he's right, whattya expect from a Marine? We have a 10 man hotel, a self inflating mattress that is like 4 feet thick, it may have bedposts. We eat in a huge, somewhat rustic lodgehouse with a SWEET kitchen equipped with professional everything...So no, we're not really campin'...but hey, it beats sittin' in front of the tube watchin' football all weekend.

I'm taking my smoker...gonna drive alot of folks crazy with the aroma's rolling off that baby.

So...blogging will be light til Monday...we're headed for the...what passes for mountains here in SW Oklahoma.

Where there's smoke...

I know what you're thinking...but in the South...that ain't necessarily true. Around here...if there's smoke, there's likely to be ribs...or brisket...or in this case...chicken and big ole thick chunks of beef roast. You ever had hickory smoked beef roast? Well, you might wanna etch it into that Bucket List.
Menu du Jour

Smoked Beef Roast
Herb Seasoned and Baked in Sesame Oil New Potatoes
Sweet Corn Maque Choux
(unless you happen to be the family i'm taking dinner to tonite...then you get the chicken...)

and one or three ICE cold Shiner's...

i know...you wish you lived in The Smoky Kingdom

Wanna see the centerfold?


Please... don't hate beauty

Seasoning...

Ya know...its weird, i got all these bloggy rocks rollin' around in my head, and i just can't seem to find the gumption to pull'em out and pitch'em. Most of'em deep thoughts...well more in the Jack Handy genre perhaps.

Anyway, i'm more in a cookin' mood, so tonight i seasoned my brand new 'lectric smoker (well, new to me)...i know, i know...you purists out there are going..."Did he just say 'electric' smoker? But, until i can build what i have penciled in, the 'lectric ones gonna hafta do.

And tomorrow's supper? A big ole fat pork tenderloin slathered with my magic rub (that tenderizes one's salivary glands to the point that you eventually just carry a towel with you when you step outside) to set atop a pan full of water logged hickory chips and just so ya know i'm prolly gonna let the drippin's from that find their way into a warm bowlful of pork n beans lovin'.

So here's the equation...

Pork Tenderloin (massaged in magic)+ Pork-n-Beans(w/bacon, onions, and brown sugar)+ a few hours of warm sultry hickory laden billowing love=

Showin' out...

Disclaimer: THIS POST CONTAINS FOOD PORN...if you are hungry or dieting this may not be the post for you...i do not cook low fat! i cook comfort food, as Willy Shakespeare put it, "If music be the food of love...play on." I ain't much of a piper...but i can lay out a dinner...



Last night, The Queen and i decided to show the CO fam, that we weren't entirely illitre', and whipped this out for their salivatory delight...

Le Menu:

Linguine w/ Artichokes and Mushrooms in White Sauce
Grilled Lime Pepper crusted Chicken breast (handmade lime pepper ta boot!)
Paneed Asparagus w/ bacon and onion
Garlic and Cheese Foccacia


and last but not least:

Coconut Cream Pie
(no, i din't make it i got it at Village Inn on the way out the store with the other fixin's)

I do love's me some vittles!

and if you were wonderin'...this is how she plated...

Fosses,fiats, and fare...

Grab aholt of somethin' cuz i'm all over the road today...

Due to the fact that i've been so negligent in posting something the past few days i've various and sundry items.

First...The Moat is officially open! It resembles a moat too with all the sand and funk in the bottom and with no acceptably operating vacuum...it could stay that way until i can obtain some proper hoses. Of course, the old, decrepit, entirely overworked and too-small-for-the-job pump that came with the pool last year wouldn't fire when i flipped the switch...so i tried to "modify" it. After performing an hours worth of intense extractive surgery , i ended up banging it on the workbench thus connecting the elusive open circuit whereupon the plastic paddles on the rotor spun madly out of control and shatttered onto the garage floor. i immediately realized i had just spent about 4 bills on a new pool pump. Well, just over said 4bills later we now have a proper pool pump...and lemme tellya, that baby SUCKS! In fact P2 got her hand caught in the intake this morning and was bending her fingers backwards when i pulled her hand out. It scared her more than anything but she couldn't have done it herself. But, as you can well see, sand and stuff don't bother us much.

Next item on the litany... The Queen is...CLOSE! Here is The Prince already giving orders to his little brother...

A couple evenings ago, we had Greek night. It turned out....Gooooooooooo-D! Here was the menu...Salata Therini w/ feta kalamata olives and a beautiful basalmic vinaigrette, Pork and Chicken Souvlaki, greco green beans, pilafi, tyrokovteri (that was unfreakingbelievable), tsatziki sauce, and the ubiquitous coalescence...homemade pita bread. Here's the spread...

Yeah, i know...you wish you lived here.

Shopping...

OK fair RoundTablers...i need some help from you. Its been years since we pickled our tongues in this ambrosial spirit. I've the thirst for it...and i'm beginning to see the bottom of my Drambuie bottle.

As i was savoring the neat golden nectar from my brothers in Tain, i thought, "i haven't had any Glayva in years." We can't get it in any local sugarshop here in Oklahoma (something about the weird liquor laws here), so... if you're in your local "candystore" could you please check for me? I'd be more than happy to send you price + postage + healthy gratuity...i may even get you a bottle!

Tonight, while sitting down to a dinner of Beer Can Chicken (recipe follows), sweet corn maque choux, peas, and by special Queen's request...stuffing, the Prince sees his friend Luke outside playing...he points at him, "Yuke!"

"Do you wanna go out and play with Luke?" Expecting an emphatic nod of the head and the proverbial "Ha!" which in 23 month old interprets as, "YEAH!"

Instead we got, "No....EAT!"

The Queen about choked on the chicken wing she was...cleansing.

The kid just don't let anything throw a shadow across his plate...a good apple not far from the tree, that's my boy.

Beer Can Chicken
1 whole 3-4 lb. chicken
1 can of beer (of course i've been using my homebrewed Pumpkin Beer)
2 T. Olive oil
2 T. Brabant spice rub
4 cloves garlic
1 small yellow onion

Preheat grill or oven to 325*. While that is warming...rub entire chicken with olive oil then spice mixture, even the inside if you can. Take a yellow onion and cut it down until it fits in the hole in the top of the bird snugly but doesn't slip completely in or out. Take a good pull on the beer, or two little ones, enough to get the surface down about an inch or two. Mash 4 cloves of garlic and the remaining onion together and put into the can of beer. Place chicken, legs down, over the can (if cooking on the grill just place it directly on the grates, if in the oven put it on something to catch the drippings) and cook for about 1 1/2 hours or until completely done. Cut up...Dive in.

Brabant Spice Mix (this is excellent on fried taters)

1/2 t. each of white pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, black pepper

1/4 t. each of cumin and cayenne

1 T. salt

Monikerization...

My good friends over at Microbrew's have started a vineyard...no, a real honest to goodness grape growing wine pressin' vineyard. Well, ok, they've gotten a few vines, we'll see if they actually produce something, but it'll be interesting to learn about it all. I'm pretty excited, and i haven't even been over to help dig or anything!

So anyway, make sure you check out her blog for updates. And submit your ideas. Right now they are in the process of trying to figure out the title for a label. I started to post my ideas in her comments and it got entirely too long, and in my blogvanity i couldn't let this languish in the comment box.

Hmmmm...a label idea for a vineyard in beautiful Velma, OK? This could be fun...

Vino du Velma? The Double V?

Everytime i think of Velma, i think of Velma Dace Dinkley. Who the hay is THAT you ask? Only the bespectacled brainiac hottie from Scooby Doo! So how aboooout... Jinkies! No? Man, you're hard to please!

How bout...Cowpatty Juice? Hmmmm...not quite there yet.

We need more Velma, more...oil...how does...Non Potable Water, grab ya?

MudTruck? Hey yeah! Now that's got some promise...picture this!

MudTruck Cabernet Sauvignon...
hmmmm sounds kinda French Redneck, no?

Well, ok maintaining the beautiful environs of MidEastern Stephens County ...how bout...Pumpjax! The "x" is cool, yes?

Ohhhh ohhh i think i GOT IT! Comet! I've even got a ditty!

"Comet...it makes your teeth turn green,
Comet...it tastes like Listerine,
Comet, it makes you vomit,
so get some Comet, and vomit, today!"

oh ok...i'll be good.

I really do have a fantastic idea for you...but i'll let you squirm for a bit longer. Just so you know...this one is the freaking bomb! i think your gonna LOVE IT! I gotta go to Snooth and see if its already taken, if it is i'll be heartbroken.

p.s. I checked Snooth...this one is free and clear...well, maybe not free.

Why i cook...

Made this for dinner tonite Grilled Baby Back Pork Ribs w/ Mustard Bourbon Sauce. I also made some fresh asparagus smothered in yellow onions and slivered bacon...of course there was fresh garlic and if i woulda had some shrooms and parm...but i'll get some special favors from The Queen for the grilled escaparagus (as referred to as HRHTDP) anyway. All served over a fresh pad of basmati rice. I woulda taken some plated pics but we couldn't wait. It was...GONE... in a hurry. Not even any leftovers for lunch tomorrow, more's the pity. And just so you know...there was almost two pounds of escaparagus, and the Royals ate only two pieces EACH. The Queen had a couple "moments" i may capitalize on later...and people wonder why i love to cook.

The Best E...V...E...R!!!! The Final Chapter

OK, OK...the craziness is refusing to slow down, so i will just throw a rope around it, jump my horse and commence the tyin'...

I am fully aware of the poverty of posts of late and even the makeshifts i have thrown up have been insubstantial at best. So...this will be the final of the three part series of The Best E...V...E...R!

#2 McGill's Steakhouse Tulsa, OK

You know how you can go into some restaurants, sit down, eat, and think...i didn't just hit a bad day here...its this bad all the time. Check that one OFF. Then, there are those days you observe the victual ritual and think...no, i'm giving this one another try...i think they can do better. Yet, like the grains falling from a salt shaker with one tiny aperture, there remains the sprinkling of magical moments when you are refreshed in a culinary repose that you remember for years. McGill's is firmly entrenched in the latter categorization.

Rewind to December of 2004, The Queen and i had just sold our house in OKC and either had everything we owned in storage or loaded into a 40' RV. It was so very liberating. It was time to celebrate a number of things, but the stress of completing the sale of our home was formost on the list...it had to be The Right Place. While driving a cab in Tulsa i had taken quite a number of well-t-doers to McGill's for business or pleasure, and i knew it came highly recommended.

When we walked in to the close candlelit alcove and were greeted by the receptionist, she smiled and asked... We didn't have a reservation, and honestly, we didn't care, we'd be just peachy at a table by the bar. She instinctively knew the story and whisked us to a warmly lit, intimate table within arms reach of the beautiful walnut bar, the thick and amicable barkeep, starched white shirt and natty black vest, shaking something together for another patron smiled easily as we were seated, "Whaddya have friend?"

"I believe i'll have...a Glenmorangie 18 port cask, neat...no, on the rocks." His eye sparkled, "And the Ladyship?"

"Harp's on tap?" his other eye gleamed..."Yessir! right'way!"

The waiter appeared soon after, handing us our menu's, and like a skilled fly fisherman, he deftly cast the chef's offerings of the evening, and akin to the bug eyed cut-throat lurking just under the surface i broke upon hearing "...Flame broiled Prime Rib". I bit...hard...honestly, it wasn't even a fight, i could already taste it. I heard myself prattling about "mid-rare" just hoping i wasn't salivating noticeably. There was something or other about a twice-baked-potato slathered in garlic butter, truffle oil and chives, and something else but i was in Modus Carnivorous and nothing else really mattered...until...wait...what was that? "Grilled Kansas City Strip rolled in peppercorns topped with a generous Bleu Cheese cream sauce...which i highly recommend..." Whoa. But The Queen snatched that one away as quickly as it appeared...she's a bleu cheese freak like that. So there we were happily swimming in our own little chalices enjoying the warmth inside and out...and the light sounds of happy eating.

Resembling the Son of Demeter, he materialized with our trenchers...it was just, just gorgeous, so i did. A few minutes in i looked up and saw The Queen, in rapturous state. I must've looked somewhat wolfish peering over an elk kill but i tried to ask as delicately as possible..."ahem, how is it?"...pause... "Ahem...how is it?"...uncomfortable pause ..."Tammy?"... ...

The Queen: ..."What?"..."oh"..."Oh...My...Gawd!"

My ears rocketed forward, trying to feign casual interest..."That good huh?"...

"Oh...yeah...yeah... it is." pause again..."Oh...do you want some?"

Gulp..."Yeah, you want some of mine?"

"Is it good?"

I know nirvana when i see it, especially when it comes to food, so my mind is screaming...Sell! Sell! Sell! "Yeah, its pretty good" Work knife! WORK!

So we each cut off a trifle and exchange...

I sampled...

My Irish forefathers descended and claimed my tongue..."Jeezus, Merrry and Jooseph!"

Folks, it was a melee after that, for both of us. In the end, we must've looked like two grizzly's satiated on a two day binge of river salmon. Someone...please...get a wheelbarrow...and then he asks us about dessert...Phhffff...."YEAH!" We split it...it was heavenly, 17 layers of chocolate later our appetites completely bankrupt we gladly paid the tab and assisted each other out into the cold, crisp starry night air...Life was good.

#1 Tujagues New Orleans, LA

How do i describe this? In a way, eating at Tujagues (Two Jacks) is like seeing the Grand Canyon and then trying to describe it to someone who has never seen it. Well, its HUGE! Its DEEP! and its just BEAUTIFUL!

Tujague's, established in 1856, isn't huge in the sense of physical largesse. But its also not as small as i once thought it to be. On our last visit, i took to wandering around and found the upstairs. I think the place probably could handle...150-200 tops. It has been in existence since BEFORE New Orleans had a name, well at least the building has been. It served as a Spanish armory before the restaurant. But, since 1856 they have been serving culinary masterpieces to all who drug up a chair. Now, consider that. If you had been making gumbo, shrimp remoulade, and beef brisket for 150+ years you might have perfected the taste by now...well, they have and it is unfreakingbelievable.

The restaurant itself is really quite ordinary looking yet there is something fundamentally nostalgic about it. When you walk in, you know, your walking into history. From the moment you are seated and a plate of perfect French bread with a crisp, crackling crust and warm, soft white inner layers is set before you with a pad of butter and a cold Abita, you know its going to be memorable.

Typically, the meal is served in 7 courses. Beginning with a small house salad with a beautiful golden vinaigrette. Then comes the shrimp remoulade that is absolutely etheral. Three medium sized chilled Gulf shrimp awaiting a roll that 150 year old cerise remoulade. I honestly can't think of enough adjectives. And that's course only #2.

Next, comes the gumbo. Lord. Its peerless... and i mean that in every respect of the word. Sure, others can be hotter or spicier or this or that, but this...this is just silky....GUM-BEAUX. Oh yeah, and for you who think you know...it don't have okra. I could stop there, just bring me a bigger bowl and i'm good...but...

Gentle blogeer, I know you think you've probably wrapped your mouth around some pretty good brisket in the past. I know i have. My good friend Mr. Brewer can smoke up a brisket to celestial proportions. His and ONLY his can even come close to what you can savor at Tujagues. When i say this melts in your mouth...with a little swab of the piquant horseradish sauce alongside...(my head is shaking at this point) i just can't...

There is something i should say at this point. There is a secret course that you have to have inside information on and ask for it by name. To my understanding, if you ask for this (and its certainly not on the menu) the waiter is obligated to give it to you at no extra charge. We tried it last time we were there, a couple who were long-time friends of the waiter just happened to be at the next table over and he asked if they had ever had it and brought them one out. I was riveted. I struck up conversation with them and they offered...we accepted. It was some of the BEST chicken that has ever touched my tongue. You've probably heard of 40 Clove Garlic Chicken...this was nearer to 80. It was just...inspiring. Oh...i suppose you're wondering now...its called something like Chicken Bon Femps (Bon Fon) or something akin to that...i couldn't quite get through his quiet cajun/creole Nyooo Awwlens drawl...but believe me next time, i'm getting it again.

You have a choice of four entrees which the waiter knows intimately. And by the time you get one fork full into it, you'll understand the intimacy. I've had two of the four. I will not divulge at this time which two, i want you to try them all. This restaurant absolutely MUST go on your Bucket List. I've eaten there, and its STILL on mine. For those of you who are apprehensive about "weird food that the Piper eats" Tujagues is not in those categories...it's not spicy hot, there are no strange curries or funky flavors...this is southern comfort food at its finest. We plan to make a yearly pilgrimmage to New Orleans. Tujagues will be the grand finale each time. Sure we'll eat in other great restaurants there i.e. Commander's Palace, Galatoire's or Emeril's Delmonico's, and i'm sure we'll be knock down drag out impressed with them, but Tujague's, Dear Reader may for a VERY long time be...

The BEST E...V...E...R...

Soup du jour

On the rare occasion we like to lighten the mood here at the Table. We try not to keep the fare too serious or sober all the time so that you, fair reader, will come away with a sense of joy. Knowing that there remains some basic good in the day to day transactions of elemental life. That said, the Soup du jour is Laughter Contagion...by the way...you may wanna take a chair if you haven't already...this is good stuff...

The Best E...V...E...R!!!! Part Deux

Well, i just couldn't put this off any longer. Actually, its been a really busy couple days and i finally have the time. The Royals are off to the Grand Castle, and, as The Queen said last night..."its so...quiet". I do have to take a little side road before getting started due to the subject matter and the graphic nature of such.

Yesterday, i took the Royals up to the City to meet the Elder Court. We met halfway, which just happens to be at a Cracker Barrel...not bad that. Anyhoo, after making the switch of all the stuff i thought, "Man, i wish i could just open all the doors and pick this car up and shake it out. The things that you find under car seats can be...unnerving. But then, that's why we get rides with leather, the comfort is just the bonus, its the ease of cleaning that is the appeal. Practicality dear rubbernecker...practicality.

I can tell this is going to be a day of digression.

Upon my return, i stopped at an old hangout- Spices of India. It'd been awhile obviously...and almost $60 later i shlogged out with my bags of delightful comestibles. When i say i found some chutney...Dude, i hit the freaking comstock motherload! I got sweet/hot mango chutney, coriander chutney, tamarind date chutney...shall i continue? I got Chana Dhal (of course i just like saying that...Shshshana Doll), Dhana dahl, i got Bombay and Sindhi biryani, Tikka Botti, and hot curry paste! Keep going? I got mixes for butter chicken, chicken tikka masala, paneer makhanwalla and malabar chicken (of COURSE you don't have to use just chicken!) OK OK i'll quit, i know your salivating. But, anytime you wanna come over and see what all the fuss is about with the na'an and all, just lemme know, i'll whip up a little somethin that'll give you the curry dragon and cool it off with some mint chutney and cucumber raita.

OK, so you came here for the Top 4 and that's just what your gonna get.


Well, the above was a bit of a metastasis for this. Yea, the appetizer.

#4 Gopuram
Gopuram comes in at a solid delta position. If your going to go to an Indian (that's dot not feather) restaurant and you've never been before...hit the lunch buffet. Don't worry that you can't pronounce it...just put it in your mouth. Gopuram is a serious experience of southern India complete with gold curtained small rooms with ornate low tables where you can recline on large elaborate pillows and DINE! Lamb Biryani, palak paneer slathered over a bed of yellow saffron rice...Lord, just get me a stretcher when i walk in and smell the vindaloo curry. Na'an, chapati, raitas, chutney's, tandoori chicken, beef khorma, spinach (palak) paneer, shish kabab's...i gotta stop right there...i just can't...another entree and i'm burning a tank of gas. Oh wait...the coconut rice pudding at the end, you know, when you've had two platefuls too much and there's a bowl of rice pudding (Kheer) with the little pistachios on top sitting in front of you...just don't touch me when i'm done...i will erupt.

#3 Sala Thai

MamaLou (Happy Five-O by the way...i'll explain later) had posted not long ago about a restaurant they went to while living in Red River, NM where the stars also came out to eat. Well, i suppose Sala Thai would be that place for me. Apparently, Mick Jagger's ex-mother in law ironically lives in OKC, and he still loves to see her so The Stones make a tour stop there and when they do they order from Sala Thai. This little sub five foot Thai woman can throw out some Vittles. Her lunch buffet is small, but jam packed with flavor. Green curry, red curry, Masaman on chicken, pork, beef...a curried potatoes that is just....and oh my gawd in the Fall she lays out this deeeelectible pumpkin curry that sends you reeling into dreamland. There is NO better pad thai or pad kra pao anywhere in this entire country, yes possibly equal to, but not better. She always has condiments of toasted peanuts, fish sauce w/ thai peppers, red pepper flakes and of course soy on hand. In the evenings you can order off the menu, and then she ratchets the flavor up even more, she'll make it as hot as you can take it...and the hotter you ask her the bigger her smile...and of course...mine. Sadly, it has undergone a management change and the food has declined, but, the memories are still there and my love for Thai food was begat at that small table over in the corner by the rickshaw.

Well, you've squandered another five minutes...or 10 if you clicked on the links...or 15 if you had to get a towel for wiping the slobber off yer chin... you'll have to tune in tomorrow for the Top 2, its lunchtime and i've worked myself into a pretty good lather.

The Best E...V...E...R !!!!

A comment from The Dawg sparked this one. I got to thinking about...what is my favorite restaurant E...V...E...R. I mean...i really am having to dig for this one. So many factors go into choosing just one. Quality of food, atmosphere, service, location, memories, wine/beer list (hey, its important too!), consistency of all those factors...the list goes on.

I scan the memory and come up with a few that are off the charts with what i categorize as MAJOR contributive factors in BEST EVER restaurants to this point in my life...

My first ever REAL culinary experience came when my parents and i visited some friends of theirs in Vancouver, British Columbia back in 1985. They took us to Chinatown. That particular Chinatown, at the time (and possibly still may be) the largest Chinatown in the Hemisphere other than San Fran's. I saw things in that market...well let's just say it was major culture shock from a culinary/grocery perspective. Fresh EVERYTHING...under the sun and under the sea. Then i had to conciously keep my mouth closed for fear of something flying in. Now, my jaw would still be agape just hoping something would... buying everything in sight and writing down every recipe i could decipher from the giver. They led us to this screen doorway, it opened to a long, narrow, ascending corridor of steps, i was thinking..."What the...we are going to die." As we ascended, the warm sultry aroma of garlic, ginger and Five Spice increased with each step. The stairs opened into a large, large room full of white cloth covered tables where seemingly hundreds of people were dining...and we were the only English speaking Caucasians i could see. We were seated and brought ice water. A large bowl of rice was placed in the center of the table. The food began to appear on carts rolled around the entire room. The cartmaster would open the steaming woven bamboo pots to reveal the delicacies inside. I didn't really wanna know, i just wanted to taste. And taste i did. I saw things i could not believe the human body ingested, of course, some of those things i ingested myself out of sheer curiosity...and IT WAS ALL GOOOOOOD. I think at that point my culinary journey began, and for that that restaurant makes the list even though have no idea of the name of the place, and could probably never find it again...i just look back on that particular event and say...that's where it started.

Next, would be PapaDeaux in San Antonio. My cousin and her husband lived there. He came from a very wealthy family in Mexico who supply some of the best bulls for the best bullfights south of the border. Foodies themselves, they knew where to find the good stuff...and Pappadeaux is GOOD. I'm not a Mexican, Texican, or Mexicali fan...period. This was just incredible food.

Leo's in OKC...ahhhhh that's really all you gotta say. When you get ribs and the BBQ sauce is more like just the frosting on the cake i.e. you really don't NEED it...you KNOW you got a RIB. That is the essence of Leo's. When we first started going there it was a gas station converted into a smokehouse. Dark stained concrete and wood floors, the table had a red checkered vinyl cover, forks in a mason jar, the sauce was in two bottles..."red is hot...brown is not". Occasionally, you would tear up and almost choke from the hickory/pecan woodsmoke billowing from the smoker if the wind was just right, but you just didn't care because of the Howlin' Wolf blues floating from the old smoke and grease stained radio off in the corner made you feel like you should. The walls were dark from years of that. The lights were dim because of that same smoke...its a beautiful thing. "Little Bit" or "Cookie" the waitress would greet you with a big black southern "How'reyall?" You get sweet tea...you order the rib dinner with baked beans and potato salad, that's what you order, you don't deviate from perfection. You sit back, sip your tea, enjoy more John Lee Hooker, Muddy Waters, and T-Bone Walker while you watch the cooks with aprons stained black with deep southern goodness, then you hear it..."ORDER UP!" Your trickling mouth begins gushing. It arrives. You then proceed to work your way through the styrofoam filled plate of soul sublimation only coming up for an occasional breath and to squirt some sauce into the already slathered gaping maw and a sip of sweet tea. Then "Cookie" comes around with...The Cake. Lord God help me... Its THE consummate culmination of sweetness behind salty...bananas and icing sandwiched between two layers of yellow lemon cake topped with a couple halves of fresh strawberries and slathered with just enough icing to make you think...oh i can do this, i CAN do this. You take ONE bite, and you KNOW...this cake has a place somewhere in eternity. There's a reason they call it 'soul food'.

OK sorry to leave you hanging, but this is gonna have to be continued...i've got the top three yet to cover and i've run short on time...and i've written myself into cooking some dinner. See you tomorrow.

Bon Appetit!

New restaurant in town...

This is taking dine out to a whole new...ummmm....level.

I guess this eliminates the whole "Excuse me...waiter? Where is the restroom?"

I can just imagine the recommendation here..."Well...the food's OK, but the atmosphere is just fantastic!

Whodunit: A Murder Mystery

OK...who did it?

SOMEBODY murdered my coffee and replaced it with a cheap phony! Here's the facts:

7:00 a.m.

This morning i opened my can of Cafe Du Monde French Market Coffee. I looked at the dry grounds thinking..."That don't look right..." (sniff, sniff) "It don't smell right neither". Ah, i just woke up whaddoIknow...still...sumpmm jus ain't rat. I pour in the makin's and take a last look at those dry grounds before sealing the can back up. Somethin jus ain't rat.

7:05 a.m

I put my coffee cup 1/2 full of milk in the nuker, set the time and...that coffee don't smell right neither...i gotta shake these cobwebs outta my head.

7:07 a.m
Milk's boilin', coffees done, so i pour in the coffee...what the????? It's SUPPOSED to look like DARK hot chocolate...this looks like Redcoat tea!

7:08 a.m.
I add the required heapin' tablespoon of powdered sugar... Sip...WHAT THE????? WHO THE???? This tastes like a St. Louis Bread Co. Latte...This is like, like...drinking an O'Doul's!!

I NEED JET FUEL!!!

So...now it's 1:30 pm in the afternoon and that tiptoe-through-the-tulips little pansy cuppa Joelina that completely played out around 7:25 has left me looking through about 75% of those REM cobwebs...I NEED SOME JET FUEL!!! But wait...i still have an unopened can out in the garage...A CONTROL GROUP! Now we'll find out!

Ahhh...there's... My Precious...

Man, if i open this...and its the same...i am officially going to need to make an appointment with the CDA (No, not the Child Detection Agency from Monster's Inc.!) Coffee Drinker's Anonymous...

I grab the can opener...apply to can top...big exhale...squeeze...ffffffFFFFT! The room air rushes into the vacuum sealed, caffeine an chicory laden goodness... re-filling the kitchen with a robust nutty aroma....ahhhhhh now THAT'S more like it...turn, turn turn, turn....bend back the lid to discover...beautiful darkness, like a 90% cacao chunk of bitter chocolate paradise! I fantasize...diving into the lurid pile of warm nutty Louisiana roasted Cajun righteousness and rolling blissfully, soaking up the aromas of...

"What? huh? You wanna play your Clifford the Big Red Dog game? Oh...oh yeah, yeah hold on..."

I KNEW IT!!!

SABOTAGE!!!

Oh yes...yes...i have suspects! Names will be withheld until investigation confirms all involved and accomplises.

Justice may be blind, but when it comes to her morning coffee...well, she don't put that sword down often. (I particularly like this picture with Mercy holding her in check.)

Somewhat blank slate...

'spose i get the "Most Uninspired" blog award for the day... i got nuthin'...so i'll resort to throwin' up some pics and oh lord...i'm going to admit it to you all...since you are my friends and fam...and realistically, some of you need this confession of sorts probably more than i need to give it...but...i'm makin' dinner...out of...are ya ready? Zatarain's Jambalaya MIX...yep...mix...The FNP not only has a mix in his cabinet HE AIN'T AFEERED TO USE IT!!! Oh, don't pick up the phone yet...i'm fine...just culinarily unspunkified. I promise you...i'm makin up for it tomorrow...the gears aren't just turning they're about to spin off the axle...but for now, here's the promised pics.

P1 got inlines for Christmas, my old stick, and a nerf ball that she has on loan from the Prince.

Want some good reads? Try MamaLou whom i'm living vicariously through right now, while she and PapaToby are in Aberdeen, Scotland. Or hit up Eric at his place and this little ditty about "Watching" for some writing at its finest.

As for me, i'm takin in a little Blackwater with the Doobies and whippin' up that jambalaya.

pleasant dreams fair reader.

A Trip to the Woodshed...

WARNING:
This article does contain food porn. All audiences are encouraged to take this into account before reading and/or viewing the entire contents.


About two weeks before Christmas we went to New Orleans. I get inspired there...in the culinary sense. Very little else in the Easy bears any resemblance of illumination for me...well except for maybe the architecture, oh and the Abita Amber. Anyhoo, my accomplice and i had dinner the first night we were there at Bourbon House on The Street. It was the restaurant connected to our hotel, so we thought, "What the hey...i mean it IS a Dickie Brennan's place...".

We perused the Menu. It was a little late for me to have a full course, so we assumed our positions at the bar and i just ordered a Gulf Shrimp Cocktail appetizer...and that Amber nectar. Blue on the other hand decided on the Satsuma Glazed Pork feedbag. I tried to appear like i tasted the shrimp and not dribble the cocktail sauce down my shirt sauce as i licked it clean. Two of my Abita's had mystically evaporated before Blue's plate ever showed up. He eventually worked his way through it as i eyed it not unlike a jackal watching a lion lazily devour a gazelle. When he excused himself for a trip to the boys lounge, i pounced. As per the metaphor, i could only pull so much off the bone before the lion returned. But i got away with enough to start scribbling down the ingredients on a napkin...

Fast forward to last night.

I desperately searched the kitchen for The Napkin, i had a taste in my mouth that only Satsuma Glazed Pork was going to satiate. No where to be found, IT SAT RIGHT HERE FOR WEEKS AND ITS GONE?! I even called The Queen. Nope, nothing. So i called Blue and he sent me the above websites. I was at least on target in my head but it did help to look at the menu.

An hour later i had successfully paneed the pork chops in olive oil, fresh garlic and sea salt and laid them out on a platter awaiting their blanket. Said blanket being a mix of cubed sweet potato, julienned onion, pecans, slivered bacon, scored orange peel, and the ubiquitous smashed garlic cloves all sweetly sizzling in bacon grease, olive oil, fresh squeezed orange juice, oh and a couple tablespoons of butter. All sprinkled with just enough brown sugar, sea salt and coarse ground pepper to bring it all together. Then, the coup de grace, right before the cooking time expires, a shot (or two) of 12 year old Glenmorangie port wood finish, ahhhh... the savory fog of instantly heated whisky!

The consummation when the contents of the pan meet the awaiting pork...ok, ok i'll stop and just show the food porn...

Voila!



The Queen gorged herself, the rest of the royal court screamed their approval...all is well in The Kingdom...

Another restaurant takes an Oklahoma country boy trip to the woodshed courtesy of TFNP...



I love food!

A tantalizing puzzle...

After helping The Queen with the mixin's an makin's of a panful o'fudge schnockered brownies and wistfully waiting for them to cool...Princess #2 proposes a thinker...

With a twist of the nose and tilt of the head...

"Are brownies boys or girls?"




Well...what say you?

I'll drink to that!

Last week i was talking to my brother who had been sick for almost three weeks. Towards the end of the conversation, i said, "Man, you just need to drink more alcohol!" We both laughed, but i was somewhat serious (of course, humor is humor because of the element of truth within). He does drink, in moderation of course. Yet, i'm beginning to wonder...Do we drink enough? I mean that in all seriousness. There are WEEKS that go by when i don't have a drop, sure we keep it handy and break a bottle of vino open when friends come for dinner or what have you. But daily, measured doses of wine, beer, or the beautiful nectar of the Bacchus...single malt.

I am a HUGE proponent of the health benefits of daily, MODERATED consumption of alcohol. Telling people for years that a good dark beer...(ahhhhh Beamish!) has as many antioxidants in it as any red wine, which has been long proven to have many desirable health benefits for the circadian partaker.

This morning i open my email INBOX and what to my wandering eyes should appear? But TWO links from two different friends of the SAME article in Yahoo news. I checked the history of the emails and they hadn't sent it to each other and then FW'ed it on to me, but sent it to me independently. So, i concluded, this must be something VERY important! Here's the ARTICLE. It's a short, very informative read. Which prompted me to do a little more research, so i performed a couple Googles and had hours of reading! But i'll only include one more article for your benefit and hopefully it will stimulate you to do your own further research on the healthy benefits of daily moderated alcohol intake.

This is an excerpt taken from a "report on the health and preventative benefits of Grape Seed Extract"

Since much of the content below is from medical journals, which can be tedious reading for most of us, I'd like to summarize the benefits of grape seed extract (GSE) here. The benefits of GSE can be summarized in five different categories:

The first category is protection against pollution and environmental toxins. As nature's most potent antioxidant, GSE helps to reduce and prevent free radical damage. It also reduces the rate of aging and wrinkling of the skin, and reduces the risk of cancer.

The second category involves age-related illnesses. GSE improves joint flexibility and prostate function, reduces mental aging and enhances energy.

Thirdly, GSE benefits auto immune diseases by enhancing the immune system, reducing inflammation, helping to control allergic responses and balancing the breakdown of proteins.

Fourth, GSE benefits nutritional deficiencies by reducing fatigue, improving visual acuity, reducing the frequency and severity of colds and enhancing the benefits of vitamins.

Finally, probably the most significant benefit of GSE is its protection against cardiovascular disease. GSE not only reduces the risk of heart disease and stroke, but also helps improve peripheral and central circulation, reduces varicose veins, repairs artery and vascular lining and aids in resistance to bruising.


If i was to tell you that since you are somewhat overweight (as i am) and some daily excersize (with an elevated heart rate from 20-40 minutes) would certainly help you feel better and increase your survival rate on this planet, you would have no problems with that wholeheartedly agreeing with my statement. Yet, if i followed the excersize regimen with, "You know...you should also have a glass of Shiraz (Syrah for you purists), or two, with your meal every evening." What would your reaction be to that? OK, i know some of you people are going to pull out the..."Well, i don't really like wine." Please, you get the point. If you do any research AT ALL, you'll see over and over that the Western European diet if LADEN in fat and cholesterol and all the "bad things" the "dieticians" here scream about. Yet, their general longevity rate is still beyond the typical Americans. Why is that? Because alcohol is not the Devil there. The Prohibitionists, long dead, are still killing people by the millions.


Thus endeth the lesson.