Homeschoolers are freaks...

Couldn't have said it better myself...and i have entirely too much to do today to make any kind of decent post, so...

To all you detractors out there...beware...we have four more of these coming at you...



and please...save it on Winston Churchill and Charles Dickens...we already know...like the disclaimer said...this is comedic in nature...relax.

For all you doubters...

BOOMER!!!!!!!!!

and if, like me, you didn't get enough the first time...

Here's a highlight reel

Now that that's over, let it be said that, though i am happy we are going to the BIG XII Championship next week in Kansas City, to clean up a little mess of a team who won the yankee portion of the conference...i want you all to know, i am NOT in agreement with the HOW we got there. I think football should be decided on the field, by coaches with headphones...not pencils on a poll sheet, not by voters, and certainly not by computers. Yes, we beat Texas Tech, convincingly, yes they beat Texas by a slim margin, but the wrench that stops the cog in my football engine is that Texas did, in fact, beat Oklahoma on a neutral field, by a 10 point margin. Texas then, by a head to head standard, should get the nod to play in the CCG...end of story. Unfortunately, its not the end of the story. Of course, those of you who may have the unfortunate position of BEING a T-sip...you actually do still have a chance...providing you put your chips on a bunch of ragamuffins and one crybaby from Mizzou...if they pull it off, you're back in the hunt. But for now, its the Sooner Show once again, and as much as you may hate it...SOONER MAGIC is real...believe it!

Wouldna be cool if...

OK i'll admit...Saturday night still has me buzzing...and no, i only had one (1) beer and one (1) glass of Sangria (see post previous). As a Sooner, i'm feeling pretty daggone invincible right now. At this point, i could go on for...awhile about all that i think is wrong with the BS...i mean, the BcS but i will quell my angst and talk about what COULD happen...

With the realization of what i am about to say is extremely remote and highly conjectural (but what exactly IS the CFB realm without speculation) i just gotta let this out...

A very good friend (who happens to be a huge Longhorn fan) and i were talking about this yesterday...

Do you realize what could happen if:

Let's just cruise down the Hypotheses Highway...
Florida runs into trouble and falls to Florida St. this weekend... THEN Bama loses to Auburn in the Iron Bowl and goes on to lose to the Gators in the SEC Championship game?

Without trying to sound too much like Mac Brown, let me answer that for you...

Both Bama and Florida would have two losses...let that sink in for a second.

Now lets add THIS to that little scenario...

Oklahoma goes to #11/12 Stillwater and beats them like the little brother they are, and Texas goes on to remain a one-loss team and wins against unranked A&M at home (which they should). Both of these teams would then be ONE-LOSS teams not only in the BEST CONFERENCE in the nation, but the strongest DIVISION...i know all you SEC fans are gonna snicker at that, but this year, its true, sports pundits do have that part right.

Which puts OU and TEX at #1 and #2 respectively, due to strength of W's at season's end, even though the result at Dallas in Oct. Of course, we could STILL reverse the two and maintain the paradigm... Now, again, PROVIDING that OU goes on to post a W in Kansas City, which is highly likely...where does that put us?

The dizzying picture gets real sharp here...#1 Oklahoma would, by BcS standards, HAVE TO meet #2 Texas in the Orange Bowl for the NC game.

Of course, all the Trojans would scream, but who cares, YOU GOT DONE BY OREGON ST...SHUT YOUR HOLE!!!

Utah? ... please. Go play Texas Tech and give us an air show. (Texas Tech will roll you, so be careful...we play FOOTBALL down here in the South.)

Penn St.? Hey, LOVE JoePa...but, you're just too far out of the hunt.

No friends and neighbors, IF the scenario played out as written (and it won't) we would be back to the glory days of OU/TEXAS for the hardware.

No, that isn't very sexy for the rest of the nation...but wouldnat be fun to watch the BcS brass try to wriggle its way outta that little cluster?

OK, with that said, here's what i'd LIKE to see...

OU vs. Bama in the Orange-
Just a good old school, pack a lunch...crimson stained B.R.A.W.L.!

OU vs. Flahrida same ring-
Nobody, i mean NOBODY, wants a piece of EITHER one of these two right now, this would be two HEAVYWEIGHTS pounding each other for 60 minutes.

TEX vs. USC in the Fiesta
Nothing boils the blood like vengeance...and USC wants to reclaim that little showdown, and except for the above two...nothing i'd like better than to watch Texas roll Southern Cal into a nice tidy little ball and punt them back to Cali.

TEX vs. Flahrida in the Sugar
Probably won't happen...but it would be the logical place for both fan bases. And just think, Tebow v. McCoy...THAT would be worth watchin'.

and i gotta throw this dog in the fight...

OU vs. USC (anywhere anytime)
If there's one team i can't stand more than USC it would be...
Yeah, you get the picture. Speaking of vengeance and blood...i'd like to take both out on'em. USC's defense against our offense...again...THAT would be a show within itself.

Well, i'll stop now...i'm gonna go bask in the buzz.

Your thoughts...

Stabilizing cabin pressure...

Hello rubberneckers! I know it's been...a week. You'll have to forgive, i have a schedule, its not much of one but i'm accustomed to it, and it's been completely shredded in that amount of time. Things are normalizing and i'll be firing up the keystrokes a bit more tomorrow...but, in all honesty, that may be the only post, other than this one for the week...crazy times in The Kingdom, it'll slow down soon, and the writing will resume. But, in the spirit of "The Table" here's one for all you Epicureans...


And while your cleaning up the slobber, click here.

Weekend Update...

What a great weekend! Of course, i'll kinda be all over the road with this one so, watch out!

I got up a little early with the smoky still smell of Fall drifting lazily across a Saturday morning in the South. While The Queen and the Royals snuggled warmly in our bed taking hits from Bugs Bunny and Friends, i was out hunting garage sales. Being November, the pickins were a little slim....but...i did hit a small lode for The Prince.

As stated in a previous edition, we've been working with him on the freedoms and uses of Big Boy Draws (that would be undies for you non-Southern partisans). Those multi-colored Spiderman tighties have his eyes sparkling when he gets to wear-em...i mean hey, it does the same for me when i wear mine. Anyhoo, back to Saturday morning, i've got my nose to the ground in the "highly experienced goods" hunt, and i pick up this scent...and BINGO! I find this box full of brand new, never opened, extra large HOT WHEELS 4X4's and assorted cars! I'm thinking...dude's gonna FLIP when he sees THIS! Talk about INCENTIVE and BONUS PAY! So i bought the whole lot... eight 4X4's and two 5-packs of sweet hot rods...12 bucks. I get the pillage home and received the appropriate reaction...elevated heart rate, bulging eyes, bared teeth, and jump rope without the rope. The rules of the game were established while the booty was poured out on the kitchen table..."You go peepee in the potty, you get one truck; you go poopoo, you get TWO!" The reactions listed above increase incrementally. "Da-eee peepee NOW!" Within an hour he had earned his first 'kruk' oh wait...i'm sorry that's 'KRUUUUUK!!!' So far, he's earned four...so he's pretty motivated.


Saturday afternoon i had an offer from our next door neighbor for some OU/NEB tix...so i obliged. Occasional commenter, and very close friend, Moondawg, is a HUGE Nebraska fan, so i thought, who better to take? Watch his beloved Huskers take that trip to the woodshed we've owed them since the 77-17 beatdown they gave us in the 1995 Dark Ages. So we made the pilgrimage for the Mecca in Norman. Lemme tell ya...THAT 62-28 country boy dirt road butt whippin' was satisfying! Not so much for the Dawg, i kinda felt bad for him...but just kinda.

And for the Grand Finale...Sunday evening, The Flying Dutchman and Joefish came over for some of that leftover jambalaya i told you about. We were bumping around YouTube and Joefish showed us this...if you haven't seen this kid...well lemme just warn you...if you click this vid be prepared to sit back for the next couple hours and click the rest of his repertoire and just listen...un-freaking-believable!!! This kid is so effortlessly beautiful it will bring tears.

Hand to hand combat...

I'd like to kick off the Holiday Season with this...

You're gonna hate me for this...believe me. I think i've played this game every year for...for...well ever since i first saw it in probably '99. its just so...me. So without further (insert stupid French word)...

If we should ever meet on the battlefield, here's how i'll treat you...

CLICK HERE

by the way... i do hold the perfect score of 1000.

i...HATE...

ragweed. The end of my nose is just about to break off since i'm working my way quickly through a second roll of toilet paper today. Sleep? Haven't really seen any. Hot tea is my best friend while the demonic pollen is my sworn worst enemy. I didn't remember that the body could put this much fluid out of the nasal passage. Blogging could be light until i get around this.

Gimme One Reason...

Remember that old tune from Tracy Chapman? I always thought that a pretty cool tune...well lemme give you about 77 good reasons to live in OK,

Check this link out! Yeah, you see that DARK GREEN county in the SW corner? That would be us. Gas prices in Lawton today...$3.09 (which by the way i think is still ridiculous) but it's better than the $4.39 my friend is paying in CHI.

Why 77 you ask? Well because EVERY county in OK is some shade of green, unlike the other 48 states (Jersey doesn't really count as a state, its just a suburb of NY)

You know what...make that 78 reasons...

SC lost last night to the Mighty Fightin' Beavers of Oregon St! Provided we take care of the TCU Horny Toads this weekend that would put the Sooners in Kings Corner!

"OOOOOOOOOklahoma where the wind comes sweepin' down the plains,
and the waivin' wheat sure smells sweet..."

BOOMER SOONER BABY!!!!

My vote...(its not what you think)

Something on SWG's blog sparked this previous blog fodder...

OK...i've really had it. The other day i'm driving along on the local "expressway". This particular stretch located between our beloved "Y" and Lawton usually produces some kind of eye roll for me somewhere along the way.

Well, like i said...what i saw the other day...its just way, way over the top.

Bumper stickers are a bad habit of mine...no, i don't have any...but i enjoy reading everyone elses...normally they induce those inevitable eye-rolls. But this particular day...good gawd i've seen it all now...

Now, we live deep in the right ventricle of what one could term as Cowboy Country so i'm pretty accustomed to all the LET'S RODEO or BEEF IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER or...apparently there's nothing Calvin won't piss on...Ford, Chevy, Dodge, 88 or sundry other NecksCar numbers, or my most personal UNfavorites... COWBOY UP!...and worse COWGIRL UP! I grew up in rural OK...hell, i was in FFA! I understand the meanings of these terminologies...and i think they are ridiculously stupid...i have an idea of the etymological origins of the COWBOY UP colloquiallism, and that in and of itself is honorable...if in fact where i think it may have begun is indeed fact. Needless to say, it has taken a serious fall from the proverbial horse. Enough digression? OK, OK...

Tooling along in the "Treehuggers Suck Sap" Conservative Hybrid, i was passed by this obvious, yet highly NOT uncommon, ChevroForDodge pickup truck very recently emerged from an oil field road. Now, please understand, i respect these dudes...oil rig work is HARD and EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, and those guys put their lives on the line when they go to work daily, they have earned my deference. But...

"ROUGHNECK UP"

Wait...did i read that right? I speed up and squint...oh...my...gawd...THAT...IS...IT! That gets my vote for the STUPIDEST bumper sticker i've seen to date (at least in that particular genre) and it's certainly in the running for the overall bottom rung. I think i might have thrown up a little in my mouth.

Are you ready...

Two weeks...it starts in two weeks...Are You Ready?

Just a couple Olympic observations:

1. Michael Phelps is...ok i guess.

2. Dara Torres is too.

3. Usain Bolt is pretty fast, but really...how fast is he? At the 200...please try.

4. I hate to sound redundant but...8 gold medals? And from all indications...couldn'tve happened to a nicer guy. Hey...where is his Dad?

Ettekit...

i just couldn't let this languish in the bowels of comments...this was something i left over at Bou's regarding her post, which was funny...you gotta go read.

I was in a hotel restroom once, quietly taking care of business...same scenario...dude walks in(somewhat quickly to the next door stall) yammering on his cell phone. I really didn't care until...i have no idea what this dudes large intestine was dealing with but he went completely... volcanic...i mean, my initial thought was "Houston, we have lift off!" Seriously, i was struggling just to trying to control my mirth! and the dude never missed a beat on his phone...apparently she even HEARD it! His response? "(ahem)...Uhhhh yeah, i'm in the bathroom...So what were you saying?" And there i sat next door, with my hands over my mouth, turning red from holding my breath to keep from completely losing all sense of control. It would've been cool to let the thunder roll, knowing he would get the blame but i had nothing left in the tank.

Rollin'

Sorry for the lack of quality fare of late...i just haven't felt much like cookin', must be the heat. But here's yet another roll around tune, the pics are just ok...

Driftin'

Woke up with this one floatin through my head this morning. The girls love it and i'll catch'em singin' it sometimes when they ain't lookin', especially P2. I had a playlist with a bunch of old '70's ballads on it...this was the first song. I know its a bit sacrilegious not to play Dobie but ole Kracker don't shame him...at least there's a cameo.

Seasoning...

Ya know...its weird, i got all these bloggy rocks rollin' around in my head, and i just can't seem to find the gumption to pull'em out and pitch'em. Most of'em deep thoughts...well more in the Jack Handy genre perhaps.

Anyway, i'm more in a cookin' mood, so tonight i seasoned my brand new 'lectric smoker (well, new to me)...i know, i know...you purists out there are going..."Did he just say 'electric' smoker? But, until i can build what i have penciled in, the 'lectric ones gonna hafta do.

And tomorrow's supper? A big ole fat pork tenderloin slathered with my magic rub (that tenderizes one's salivary glands to the point that you eventually just carry a towel with you when you step outside) to set atop a pan full of water logged hickory chips and just so ya know i'm prolly gonna let the drippin's from that find their way into a warm bowlful of pork n beans lovin'.

So here's the equation...

Pork Tenderloin (massaged in magic)+ Pork-n-Beans(w/bacon, onions, and brown sugar)+ a few hours of warm sultry hickory laden billowing love=

Bottle of Time...From My Vineyard

I try...i really do, to avoid these things. But when Uncle Buck tagged me with this one...i couldn't get it out of my head, it plagued me...so there it is in all its glory. Now for the rules and my own list of victims...

The meme has the following rules:

1 – Write the title to your own memoir using exactly six words.

2 – Post it on your blog.

3 – Link to the person who tagged you.

4 – Tag five other bloggers.


The Hit List:

1) Jewels

2) Running Mad

3) Big Bad Bob

4) JB

5) Diamond Dave

Weighing in...

Typically, i am of the opinion that we have babies on the...larger side. But perhaps i should say medium. In order of weight, HRHTDP was our smallest at 7.8, then the X-man just tipped in at 8.9, next is P2 at 9.2, and then of course, The Prince at 10.4! Now, those aren't huge numbers by any stretch, some of our friends have certainly had larger...one dainty little lady at 12+ and everything in between.

But, when i saw this article, i was shocked. The Queen was...well, with the memories barely...memories, she was just incredulous. Of course, you can always figger in the C-section, but still...just...dang.

Oh yeah, you can bet your ever lovin' soul that we will never try to get those pretty laurels on our heads...no...freaking...way.

OK its Official...

I...am...pissed...OFF.

My music engine Yahoo Music Unlimited is done...fini...kaput. Sure it was a subscription...sure we were paying $75/year for a music engine...but it was so...freaking... COOL! AND i had no less than 25 playlists on there with hundreds of tunes per. From Amadeus to Zydeco...i had it ALL! I went to cut it on this morning all ready for some Drift Away by Dobie Gray, some Van Morrison, some Wings...and what do i get?

"Your Subscription to YME has expired..." what the...? *BLINK*

"QUEEN...!!!!" Did YME not take $75 out of the Royal Treasury back in April?!"

"No, they never did, remember they sent you that email about it?"

"NO! I don't remember anyth...SUNUVA(break into expletive studded rant)..."

Come to find out, YME has merged with Rhapsody...which for all intents and purposes wouldn't be so bad...IF THEY HADN'T RAISED THE SUBSCRIPTION FEE ALMOST $50/year!!!! I can't justify that! Not when we've already got Sirius...which by the way...if you don't have...get it! Satellite Radio is SO FREAKING COOL!

So i guess i'll be in the Box with the rest of you Pandorales! I've alot to learn about Pandora now...man i'm gonna miss that Music Engine though...it was very cool.

Layin' the Woods....

By now, you probably heard about the subject of my previous post. The Wounded Tiger and his exciting W at the Open this last weekend has become even more impressive with new light on his "injury". I'll admit, i was a bit skeptical as to exactly how much of that was show...boy was i wrong! In case you live under a rock concerning the wide world of sports...let me prop up the stone a bit.

Again, we who dwell here in The Kingdom are Tiger fans...although i was ardently entrenched in Rocco's corner this past weekend, i was the only one. I just wanted to see someone stare down the Tiger for once, especially a guy like Rocco, a guy we can all identify with, a good guy, slightly overweight, a nonsuperstar. Certainly not saying that Tiger is "the bad guy" in any sense, but, well you know...he wins...ALOT. But now...just...wow! I mean Eldrick gets an "UNFREAKINGBELIEVABLE!!!" from me for that gritty performance.

Not only did he play five complete rounds + 1 extra sudden death hole in 5 days, against a field of not just good, but great players, he did it all with a torn ACL....AND...a DOUBLE stress FRACTURE on his left tibia!!!! So that #2 hole where he started to walk off the tee box on Saturday and bent over in pain...yeah, that wasn't just a "oh-i-shanked-that-one-cuz-i'm-hurt-please-feel-sorry-for-me" wince, that was more of a "#&^$#%(@&^$#*&^% THAT FREAKING HURT, should i really be doing this?" for real grimace.

With that kind of injury in mind, and being somewhat of a golfer myself. With the knowlege of how much the force is exerted on the knees and tibia during every swing, Tiger's status elevated in my eyes in relative proportion to what happened the day the Grinch heard the Who's singing without any presents that fateful day.

I knew the dude was great, i knew the dude could play, but never, ever did i imagine that the brother could gut it out and still lay the Wood to the rest of the field of players like he did this past weekend.

I can honestly say by that single performance, he has gained a lifetime fan. I'm not saying i'm setting up a shrine or anything, but to me...in this age of prima donna pro athletes in every facet of sports, its so good to see a guy worth billions doing what he loves to do when others pack it in, because of a headache. Seriously, i'm putting him up there with guys like Lou Gherig, Cal Ripken Jr., Walter Peyton, Brett Favre...need i go on?

I've never said this, because until now i've never been completely convinced of it, but i'll say it now without hesitation...

Eldrick Tiger Woods is the best golfer ever to play the game...and may be the best i will ever see in my lifetime...beyond Jack, beyond Arnie, Hogan, and Sneed. I think it will be a sad day indeed when the Reign of the Tiger ends, but now in its zenith it sure is fun to watch...and i will every chance i get.

I...got...a...

In less than one hour...Rocco will be officially grabbin' aholt of the only soft end of The Tiger (the other five ends are sharp...very sharp)at the US Open. I can't believe i'm pullin' for a yankee over a good Southern boy. We all like Tiger in the wild Kingdom, he's hard not to like. But Rocco's stole my heart in this one, although the Queen and HRHTDP are still in the cage with the striped beastie. C'mon Rocco...TAME THE WOUNDED TIGER!

Of course, you know this song was stuck on repeat in Rocco's head when he woke up this morning...

Calling all cars...

Alright fans...here's your chance to give back. I'm looking for a book...just something for fun reading. I was thinking about it after watching "The Waterhorse", which i HIGHLY recommend. When saw the previews, i thought, "Feh...another weird child's movie, no thanks." Then Auntie DeeDee told me it was about Nessie, and i was hooked. She went even further and sent it to us last week, we all sat down and watched it Saturday night. Nessie was always a favorite legend of mine, more than all the others, so it was really, really enjoyable.

Which brings me to this... I'm looking for a book, a book of legends and myths of Scotland, Ireland, any other the seven Celtic nations. So, if any of you have read or actually have in your possession anything you could recommend that would be fantastic.

I did find this one on Amazon, but haven't ordered it yet, waiting for any recommendations first...

Treasury of Irish Myth, Legend & Folklore

Anyway, lemme know if you come up with something...