Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Ode...et al

Dear readers...i am so sorry. It seems lately that i've got so many ideas for blog posts and so little time to enter them. I've let the busyness of life take over. Though its good busyness...still there needs to be some recorded posterity.

OK down to bidness...

As per the previous post there was a little game played on Jan. 8 to determined the braggin rights of the...nation. and to my chagrin...the Gators prevailed...we gave away...and i mean GAVE AWAY...yet another chance at the crystal. As some of you may know, i had a little wager with Bou, a huge Gator fan, and the ante was an ode to be submitted by the big loser...yours truly. The main reason this is coming...12 days late is that there was a slight misunderstanding of who posted what and where, mostly on my part...but without further verbiage...

-< : () : >-

The Gators and the Sooners

(a mutilated fable in verse by the humbled Friendly Neighborhood Piper at the painful events of Thursday January 8, 2008. My apologies to Ms. Howitt, i just didn't feel very creative and this looked appropriate...)



Will you walk into The Swamp?" said the Gators to the Sooners,
'Tis the prettiest little stadium that ever you heard rumor;
The way into my Swamp is up a winding stair,
And I've a many conference championships to show you whenever you are there."
Oh no, no," said the Sooner, "to ask me is in vain,
For who goes in your Swamp can ne'er come out again." (except Wily Ole Rebels)

"I'm sure you must be weary, Sam, with numbers up so high;
Will you rest upon your little Heisman?" said Tebow to the guy.
"There are pretty oranges in this bowl; our Conference is good but thin,
And if you’d like to try awhile, I’ll even give you a chance to win!"
Oh no, no," said the little Sooner, "for I've often heard it said,
Recievers never play again, when your DB’s go hunting head!“

Said the cunning Gator to the Sooner, "Dear friend what can I do,
To prove my conference teams are better than the eleven that play you?
I have within my division, quarterbacks with blood running ice
I'm sure you're defense is very good -- are you scared to come get a slice?"
"Oh no, no," said the Sooners, “Gatorboy that cannot be!
We’ve heard what's in your conference, and we know we‘re better than thee!"

"Sweet Sooner!" said the Gators, "your coach is witty and he’s wise,
How handsome are all your conference championships, the trophies brilliant in your eyes!
I've a little idea that when we play you can add another to your shelf,
If you'll just step into the woodshed a moment, boys, you can win it all yourself."
"I thank you, gentle sir," they said, "for what you 're pleased to say,
And bidding you Happy New Year now, I'll call on Championship day."

The Gators turned round about, and went back to the Swamp
To prepare for the coming of the Sooners, and give them the patented Chomp.
So they practiced in the fashion that SEC teams all do
And got their team ready to meet the Boomer Sooner Crew.

Out the tunnel the Gators came, to claim their second crown
"Come on out Sooners, its time for the big throwdown
Your jerseys are Crimson and Cream -- there's an OU crest upon your head;
Your eyes are on the crystal ball, but mine see walking dead!"

Alas, alas! how very soon came those silly little Sooners,
Hearing the Gators flattering words, about to pop their expanding balooners;
With gaping jaws the Gators crept, they near and nearer drew,
The Sooners thinking only of their brilliant plays, and golden crystal hues --
Thinking only of their Heisman boy -- an interception at the last
Up jumped the cunning Gators, and fiercely held them fast.
they dragged them down for the last time and drowned them with defense
The Orange Bowl roared one final blast for the hardware presentation hence.



And now dear football fans, who may this story read
To Gators and their tenacious defense, I suggest that you give heed.
To the evil sports analysts close eye and ear
to their words and to their crooners.
And remember the lesson in football gave by the Gators to the Sooners.

5 comments:

Bag Blog said...

You amaze me.

Buck said...

Not bad, Jay. Not bad at ALL.

Bou said...

Holy crap. That was FANTASTIC!

*clap clap clap*!!!

The Friendly Neighborhood Piper said...

you're amazed at my ability to plagiarize to that extent?

Thanks Uncle Buck...it was an exercize in uncreativity.

Thanks Bou...spoils to the winner and all...

Bou said...

Yup, as I put in the comments of my post, your plagiarization was 10x better than mine was going to be. I was doing... Calvin and Hobbes. Not quite the same league and creativity required for what you plagiarized.

Mine was the whole, rhyme every second line... and so I had a list of things that rhyme with Sooner, Cream, Crimson, Boomer, and on and on.

Yeah... your plagiarizing is far better than mine was. Yours is art. Mine was... finger painting. ;-)