Reporting in...

I'm not sure where this one is going, so hang on...this could be a crazy ride.

I want to do a couple things, first...i want to push the button and detonate, but i also want to tell a funny story that happened on the way back from the ATL. Decisions, decisions....

OK, i think...here's what i'll do...

i'll end on the humorous side...but first...

I am so freaking fed up with this gas thing! You realize it was CHEAPER for me to FLY to the ATL than to drive it? But that's not what i'm on a slow boil about...no sir.

The Queen and i went to pick up the Royals at the Elder Castle yesterday. I put a couple Jacksons in the tank on the way up, i put a couple more Jacksons in on the way back. We had some road food, and since it was a sub 3 hour drive, i did some figgerin'... Now, i ain't too big on cipherin', or crunching numbers as is the common colloquialism, but i CAN do some. My bio-Excel sheet started running the numbers for the weekend expenditures for the Royals visit to said Elder Castle. Here's what i came up with:

3 Royals over the river and through the woods (and back) $120
2 stops at fast food Paradise $30
1 Big Happy Family...Pricele....
WHAT THE...ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY FREAKING DOLLARS TO VISIT THE GRANDPARENTS?!!!
(and they had fuel and food expense too!)

Here's what i came up with...we could get off cheaper by paying them fuel to come and stay at our house for the three days. OR pay a girl in our church a Franklin to spend a few days with The Queen and the Royals! This is beyond ridiculous.

I got this email the other day talking about the relative price of gas versus other things we pay outlandish prices for...water, brake fluid, and various other stuff. It was interesting, but i don't use forty gallons of printer ink a week.

This has all gotta end sometime...and honestly, i don't think its going to end well...economically.

I could go on with all kinds of expletives and such... but i won't...it wouldn't help, its just puke and nobody really wants to look at it anyway. So...

The flight home was enjoyable...not for the simple fact that i love flying, but there were about 20 soadjers (that's Okie for soldiers) on a plane of about 50. They were on their way from beautiful Fort Benning to scenic Fort Sill. None of them had EVER been to the friendly confines, so i thought i'd have a little fun...

me: Y'all goin' to Fort Sill?

Soldier1 (about 20 years old, the wet greenness not quite gone from behind ears) Yessir!

me: Ever been to Fort Sill?

S1: No sir, is it big?

me: Yeah, its pretty big, your gonna LOVE it!

S1: I hear you guys have some pretty big tornado's down there...

me: Aww you ain't gotta worry about them...

S1: Oh yeah, i've had some experience with tornadoes where i come from up in Michigan...one blew through my backyard and took a modular home right off the foundation and moved it down the block!

me: Really? If it woulda been one of our tornadoes it woulda taken the foundation...

S1: (eyes widening) *blink* (gulp) Uhhhh...thanks for the encouragement...

me: Yeah...your coming at the fun time of the year too!

S1: Geez, you're all kinds of help!

me: Don't worry, you'll never see one. Now, when we get to the Lawton airport don't you go gettin' lost in the terminal.

S1: Is it pretty big?

me: HUGE! (Pause for effect) Its got ONE GATE!

S1: seriously?

me: Yup! Y'all may wanna hold hands...

S1: Right...so how far is it to the base?

me: oh i don't know...Lawton and The Base are basically connected on the north side of town.

S1: Really? They told us it was like an hour and a half to anywhere!

me: Hmmm...well, its that far to The City...Oklahoma City.

S1: (turning and much louder) Hey! DID YOU GUYS KNOW LAWTON IS CONNECTED TO THE BASE?!!

S2: (Turning and looking like he just got hit on the back of the head) Yeah dude!? Where were you when they told us that!? Did you miss that part?

S1: uhhh yeah...i guess so.

me: Boy...their gonna have fun with you!

We talked about more stuff, he was a really good kid. He told me during our conversation that he was excited about having some time off during his five weeks stay at Ft. Sill. On a Delta napkin, I scribbled some places to visit in OKC when they were able to get away...like Bricktown, the Ballpark, and a load of good restaurants and other sites in the area. He was very appreciative and i could tell it was good for him to see a friendly in a strange place. It was a pleasure visiting with him. I absolutely don't want you to think he was dim-witted or naive....he wasn't. Perhaps a bit gullible, but you could tell he had come from good, good stock and i wish him all the best. They were all good kids. It gave me a sense of some touch with the guys we are sending out to keep our freedoms in tact. Be safe boys, and...Godspeed.