The Best E...V...E...R!!!! The Final Chapter

OK, OK...the craziness is refusing to slow down, so i will just throw a rope around it, jump my horse and commence the tyin'...

I am fully aware of the poverty of posts of late and even the makeshifts i have thrown up have been insubstantial at best. So...this will be the final of the three part series of The Best E...V...E...R!

#2 McGill's Steakhouse Tulsa, OK

You know how you can go into some restaurants, sit down, eat, and think...i didn't just hit a bad day here...its this bad all the time. Check that one OFF. Then, there are those days you observe the victual ritual and think...no, i'm giving this one another try...i think they can do better. Yet, like the grains falling from a salt shaker with one tiny aperture, there remains the sprinkling of magical moments when you are refreshed in a culinary repose that you remember for years. McGill's is firmly entrenched in the latter categorization.

Rewind to December of 2004, The Queen and i had just sold our house in OKC and either had everything we owned in storage or loaded into a 40' RV. It was so very liberating. It was time to celebrate a number of things, but the stress of completing the sale of our home was formost on the list...it had to be The Right Place. While driving a cab in Tulsa i had taken quite a number of well-t-doers to McGill's for business or pleasure, and i knew it came highly recommended.

When we walked in to the close candlelit alcove and were greeted by the receptionist, she smiled and asked... We didn't have a reservation, and honestly, we didn't care, we'd be just peachy at a table by the bar. She instinctively knew the story and whisked us to a warmly lit, intimate table within arms reach of the beautiful walnut bar, the thick and amicable barkeep, starched white shirt and natty black vest, shaking something together for another patron smiled easily as we were seated, "Whaddya have friend?"

"I believe i'll have...a Glenmorangie 18 port cask, neat...no, on the rocks." His eye sparkled, "And the Ladyship?"

"Harp's on tap?" his other eye gleamed..."Yessir! right'way!"

The waiter appeared soon after, handing us our menu's, and like a skilled fly fisherman, he deftly cast the chef's offerings of the evening, and akin to the bug eyed cut-throat lurking just under the surface i broke upon hearing "...Flame broiled Prime Rib". I bit...hard...honestly, it wasn't even a fight, i could already taste it. I heard myself prattling about "mid-rare" just hoping i wasn't salivating noticeably. There was something or other about a twice-baked-potato slathered in garlic butter, truffle oil and chives, and something else but i was in Modus Carnivorous and nothing else really mattered...until...wait...what was that? "Grilled Kansas City Strip rolled in peppercorns topped with a generous Bleu Cheese cream sauce...which i highly recommend..." Whoa. But The Queen snatched that one away as quickly as it appeared...she's a bleu cheese freak like that. So there we were happily swimming in our own little chalices enjoying the warmth inside and out...and the light sounds of happy eating.

Resembling the Son of Demeter, he materialized with our trenchers...it was just, just gorgeous, so i did. A few minutes in i looked up and saw The Queen, in rapturous state. I must've looked somewhat wolfish peering over an elk kill but i tried to ask as delicately as possible..."ahem, how is it?"...pause... "Ahem...how is it?"...uncomfortable pause ..."Tammy?"... ...

The Queen: ..."What?"..."oh"..."Oh...My...Gawd!"

My ears rocketed forward, trying to feign casual interest..."That good huh?"...

"Oh...yeah...yeah... it is." pause again..."Oh...do you want some?"

Gulp..."Yeah, you want some of mine?"

"Is it good?"

I know nirvana when i see it, especially when it comes to food, so my mind is screaming...Sell! Sell! Sell! "Yeah, its pretty good" Work knife! WORK!

So we each cut off a trifle and exchange...

I sampled...

My Irish forefathers descended and claimed my tongue..."Jeezus, Merrry and Jooseph!"

Folks, it was a melee after that, for both of us. In the end, we must've looked like two grizzly's satiated on a two day binge of river salmon. Someone...please...get a wheelbarrow...and then he asks us about dessert...Phhffff...."YEAH!" We split it...it was heavenly, 17 layers of chocolate later our appetites completely bankrupt we gladly paid the tab and assisted each other out into the cold, crisp starry night air...Life was good.

#1 Tujagues New Orleans, LA

How do i describe this? In a way, eating at Tujagues (Two Jacks) is like seeing the Grand Canyon and then trying to describe it to someone who has never seen it. Well, its HUGE! Its DEEP! and its just BEAUTIFUL!

Tujague's, established in 1856, isn't huge in the sense of physical largesse. But its also not as small as i once thought it to be. On our last visit, i took to wandering around and found the upstairs. I think the place probably could handle...150-200 tops. It has been in existence since BEFORE New Orleans had a name, well at least the building has been. It served as a Spanish armory before the restaurant. But, since 1856 they have been serving culinary masterpieces to all who drug up a chair. Now, consider that. If you had been making gumbo, shrimp remoulade, and beef brisket for 150+ years you might have perfected the taste by now...well, they have and it is unfreakingbelievable.

The restaurant itself is really quite ordinary looking yet there is something fundamentally nostalgic about it. When you walk in, you know, your walking into history. From the moment you are seated and a plate of perfect French bread with a crisp, crackling crust and warm, soft white inner layers is set before you with a pad of butter and a cold Abita, you know its going to be memorable.

Typically, the meal is served in 7 courses. Beginning with a small house salad with a beautiful golden vinaigrette. Then comes the shrimp remoulade that is absolutely etheral. Three medium sized chilled Gulf shrimp awaiting a roll that 150 year old cerise remoulade. I honestly can't think of enough adjectives. And that's course only #2.

Next, comes the gumbo. Lord. Its peerless... and i mean that in every respect of the word. Sure, others can be hotter or spicier or this or that, but this...this is just silky....GUM-BEAUX. Oh yeah, and for you who think you know...it don't have okra. I could stop there, just bring me a bigger bowl and i'm good...but...

Gentle blogeer, I know you think you've probably wrapped your mouth around some pretty good brisket in the past. I know i have. My good friend Mr. Brewer can smoke up a brisket to celestial proportions. His and ONLY his can even come close to what you can savor at Tujagues. When i say this melts in your mouth...with a little swab of the piquant horseradish sauce alongside...(my head is shaking at this point) i just can't...

There is something i should say at this point. There is a secret course that you have to have inside information on and ask for it by name. To my understanding, if you ask for this (and its certainly not on the menu) the waiter is obligated to give it to you at no extra charge. We tried it last time we were there, a couple who were long-time friends of the waiter just happened to be at the next table over and he asked if they had ever had it and brought them one out. I was riveted. I struck up conversation with them and they offered...we accepted. It was some of the BEST chicken that has ever touched my tongue. You've probably heard of 40 Clove Garlic Chicken...this was nearer to 80. It was just...inspiring. Oh...i suppose you're wondering now...its called something like Chicken Bon Femps (Bon Fon) or something akin to that...i couldn't quite get through his quiet cajun/creole Nyooo Awwlens drawl...but believe me next time, i'm getting it again.

You have a choice of four entrees which the waiter knows intimately. And by the time you get one fork full into it, you'll understand the intimacy. I've had two of the four. I will not divulge at this time which two, i want you to try them all. This restaurant absolutely MUST go on your Bucket List. I've eaten there, and its STILL on mine. For those of you who are apprehensive about "weird food that the Piper eats" Tujagues is not in those categories...it's not spicy hot, there are no strange curries or funky flavors...this is southern comfort food at its finest. We plan to make a yearly pilgrimmage to New Orleans. Tujagues will be the grand finale each time. Sure we'll eat in other great restaurants there i.e. Commander's Palace, Galatoire's or Emeril's Delmonico's, and i'm sure we'll be knock down drag out impressed with them, but Tujague's, Dear Reader may for a VERY long time be...

The BEST E...V...E...R...