Saturday, April 12, 2008

Cause for Alarm...

Thursday i'm sittin' in the recliner talking to a friend i haven't visited with in awhile. We ended up yappin at each other for about 30 minutes...he hadn't heard about my Evil Knievel so we ended up swappin yarns.

He had to take a call so we jumped off and i sat there and realized i hadn't seen or heard the Royals for a little while. So i started the hunt. I walked out to the driveway through the open garage where i had heard them last...nothing. The next beehive of activity is usually the swingset next door, so i walk between the houses. It was like a wind tunnel, the jet stream seemed to have dipped down to ground level and was blow drying Oklahoma. I actually struggled against the wind and noticed it had blown over our big rolling trash bin...ah, i'll pick it up later, i better figger out where these kids are. The ever widening view of the backyard next door revealed...nothing...just the wind blowing. I glance onto our back porch...nothing. Well, maybe they are around at the front porch and i just missed'em. So i walk back through the wind tunnel into the front yard...nothing.

So, obviously, at this point, i'm getting somewhat concerned, all the normal spots came up empty. My next thought was...well ok...two options are left...the north side of the neighbors or...oh man, if they went across the street to their new friends house...they are due for a good tannin'! I walk back around the house, through the wind tunnel, around the north end of the neighbors...nothing but dust swirls. I continue around the north end of their house, becoming slightly alarmed knowing that they would've come and asked to go across the street. My inner warning system starts to warm up like the civil defense siren wails when tornadoes skip through town.

Continuing across their front yard, a slight movement catches my eye. The lid to the trash bin moves slightly. I walk directly towards it, the lid opens and all three look directly at me and start giggling. "Look at our new clubhouse Daddy!"

The relief gave way to...Eew! I mean it was empty, but the funky sludge down at the bottom is obviously ever present, and guess where the Prince was? Yup, you got it, happy as a grub in a cow patty. They piled out and i took them into the house for a cleanin' and some lunch. Shakin' my head the entire way.

Of course, they didn't get in trouble, they were still in the yard, we did however talk about how funkified dumpster diving can be.

12 comments:

Junk Diva said...

There is nothing like that feeling. Awful. When Keli was 3, the same thing happened. I looked all over the house, then outside. I lived in the country. Still No Keli. My heart pounding I begin hollering for her outside. I came in to call the neighbors to come help me find her. When I hear her crying. She had crawled under her bed and fallen asleep. I have se veral stories for each child. Won't make to hear them all.

Course of Perfection said...

Scary...and funny...

Bag Blog said...

I remember the trouble I got for not telling Mom that we were leaving the yard. Of course, back in my day the whole neighborhood was "the yard."

Jesse was my independent child.

The Friendly Neighborhood Piper said...

Diva: Its just one of those moments all parents experience i suppose. Since when did the MicroBrew ever have to crawl under a bed, i figgered she could always just walk?

CoP: i came and picked up my bowl of scant crumbs today...apparently you need some more?

MamaLou: well yeah...our "yard" has extended into the neighbors but they definitely know the street is the DMZ.

Wait...Jesse "was"?

Inquiries said...

You are so meant to halfpint Jay!

Your kids are hilarious. I am glad that i did not have to scrub the garbage gunk off them! Yuck.

Bou said...

Oh My God. I might vomit. Holy crap.

That's like the time we were at a Cub Scount Camping trip... primitive... with portolets, and Bones told me he found THE BEST hiding place. Nobody looked for him at all! And it was in the portolet. The Dads all laughed at me as I struggled to keep my lunch in my stomach. Blech. And I had JUST gone through this entire drama conversation with the Dads saying I'd rather have my bladder burst and go septic than use a Portolet.

Gah. The memories. Gag. Oh but your story wins... Blech.

Junk Diva said...

True Jay, I shorted that child.

Buck said...

The relief gave way to...Eew!

My reaction, as well. One would think the smell would have stopped them, but maybe it's not quite warm enough yet...

Anonymous said...

Those e little chips don't fall too far from the ole wooden block. There were a few times you had to be hosed down, especially while visiting Gpa & Gma on the farm. The infamous pic of a certain 2 year old sitting on the 'throne' with only a red striped shirt covering the little bod & mismatched socks stuck on the end of two short lefs that didn't touch the floor was one of them. Then to top it off MOM has the camera & just as it flashed two tiny hands flew up to cover his mouth in shock.

man2followJESUS said...

I guess it runs in the family. Of course we would never post our family secrets on the web...especially like the time we all grabbed us a stick and went out to G'pa's cow lot where all the fresh cows pies were and began having us fight...slingin' and flingin' manure at everyone else. Mike ended up gettin it in the ear...I think it was LuAnn that accomplished that little feat. Did you ever get in on those Jay? If not, I guess they got it from their uncles!

Anonymous said...

Geez!!!What's with all the short jokes today??? Microbrew....I kinda like that one though, LOL.

Half Pint said...

That was from me. I dunno what happened with the post.