Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The American Dream...

You may or may not know but...we are in the market for a new vehicle. Something with at the very least a 3rd row seating arrangement. I've spent hours pouring over Autotrader and NADA sites looking for "the One". I have 5.

And then... i see this...this...revelation (queue angelic choir)


ahhhh...now THAT's a MAN'S minivan!

Check it out...

"powered by a 7.2-liter Caterpillar diesel engine." oooooh! i likeeee.

"it's got hardwood floors" Arrrrrrgh!!! Mainm'st and fo'cstle?

"42-speaker sound system" well, with the next item, this obviously would come standard.

"two 16-inch TVs that drop down from the ceiling and another 42-inch plasma screen TV"
didja catch that FORTY TWO INCH PLLLLLASMA!!!!!!

"four computer workstations" what better place for homeschool projects? one station/kid!

and last but CERTAINLY not least....

"a...TRAIN HORN." this says: I am MAN, hear me GRUNT!

You KNOW i'd be LAYING on that baby just anytime i felt the need. Like when that 17 year old metallic blonde miniskirt driving that cute little Zeo sitting at a green light yapping on her Razr...

i gently blow her to the other side of the intersection....


Oh man!!! i get simply GIDDY just thinking about it!

I need to stop...and take a breath.

OK, here are a few honorable mentions on my radar...

The One and Only...The Jeep

Tell me...what gearhead could resist THIS.... The Challenger

Well...they got the Funke part right

Remember the El Camino ...well, add a 55 gallon drum of Roy D. Mercer whoop ass.

OK and this one's just flat COOL!

Anyhoo....there's many more, check'em out.

As for me...when i roll up in that steroid laden Mammoth, just realize, its just a test drive...i couldn't afford the first trip to Texaco.


Buck said...

Hol-eeee Krep! That Xuv looks like it needs rails and a roadbed to go along with its horn...

Izzit even legal to drive one of those things on a public highway? (I mean today. Lord knows it would/will be illegal once Her Hillaryness is crowned... umm... inaugurated. That's what I meant. Really. Seriously.)

Dawn said...

Hannah and I took a gander at this monstrous man thing, amazing!
one thing though, how to reach back and pop the one making trouble.
We did laugh about the fate of the metallic blonde at the intersection

Kris, in New England said...

The XuV looks pretty gnarly. But I'm a classic kinda girl.

Bag Blog said...

Good grief!

Here is my pic of cars: http://grandc4picasso.citroen.com/

The Friendly Neighborhood Piper said...

Uncle Buck,

Tis' a Manmobile ain't it! Yeah, H.H. won't have any problems getting into that shiny black tank she'll be rolling around in, if crowned.

D2D and Hannah,
I think there may be a little Jetsonian robotic arm that takes care of stuff like that. Of course, that doesn't come standard...but for an extra few bucks...

you were definitely "spoiled for life"...sweet cars there.


Have you been to Scotland lately?