Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Perspectives

This morning i waited around until i thought all morning phone calls had come in or been made. The royals were all watching Tune Disney, so i decided to grab a late morning shower while i could. I step in, get good and wet, and sure enough...the phone rings...#$^*&#$@!! Let it ring...one of the kids will get it and if its important they'll keep talking til i get out or call back. It stopped ringing so i continued my shower, keeping it short. When i got dry enough to peek around the corner i noticed P2 was on the cell talking to someone...must've been someone important..."Hey, who is it?"

"Aunt Dee Dee!"

Oh, well, she'll talk til i get dressed. I couldn't hear the conversation, but it seemed to be going well. So when was ready, "OK, bring me the phone...hello?"

Laughing hysterically Dee answered "OK, she's just precious." Yeah, there's some breaking news. Auntie relayed the story of how she was calling down here to see how bad the ice was and decided to get the 3-year old perspective, which as you know can be dicey in and of itself, especially when P2 is involved.

DD- "Well babydoll, did it snow at your house?"

P2- "No"

DD- "Did you get some ice?"

P2- "Yes"

DD- "Well where is the ice?"

P2 (as if to say 'Well, DUH')- "It's in the refrigerator!"

Hence, the mirth. I'm telling you, the girl is constant comedy. The Prince has got it too, he's into that i'm-not-looking-at-you-but-i'm-watching while out of the extreme corner of his eye he's locked in, and with a smile out of the same corner of his mouth.

Speaking of the weather, I had switched on the talking heads this morning to get some news about how it was going in OKC and Tulsa with the ice and all. Nothing local so i had to go to CNN and Fox. I can't remember which was running the story but this particular segment was about that shooting in CO with the gene pool gem that walked into that church and started pulling the trigger. Reminded me of how i've gotta get my conceal and carry permit and one for The Queen while we're at it. I would have no problem closing down that poor, unfortunate soul. Anyway, it kinda pissed me off when they were interviewing 'the neighbor' of 'The Detritus'...

"Yeah they were ultra religious. We did see them out throwing baseball's and stuff, i think they have a batting cage in the back...he seemed like a pretty quiet guy, good dad...blah, blah, blah...they were homeschooled so i don't know."

Gotta make damn sure we get that 'homeschooled' jab in there with the 'ultra religious' jargon. So i suppose we could also infer by that logic that anyone with a batting cage in their backyard tend toward antisocial, bipolar, sociopathic behaviors like this upstanding societal paragon. Can't imagine what they would say about me and like, 95% of my friends. Maybe, if EVERYONE packed, these predators would at least pause before inserting the clip. My thoughts about airline safety...give us all a 9mm with a full clip upon boarding said plane, think any terrorists would have a chance at that point? Yeah, me either. Of course, what do i know, i'm just a freak, ultra religious wacko with guns that is homeschooling my kids. Guess i better get started on that batting cage to complete the profile.

2 comments:

Bag Blog said...

Take a deep breath and drink some green kool-ade. Yeah, I hate those "homeschool" comments. I have heard people talking about someone particularly awful and then say, "well, they were homeschooled" as if the majority of drop-outs, criminals, hooligans, gang members, etc. are not from public schools. On the other hand, whenever someone is rude to Jesse, she says, "well they were public schooled."

Ice in the fridge - she is too funny.

the friendly neighborhood piper said...

Funny, i've caught myself more than once saying the same thing as Jesse.