Saturday, May 19, 2007


Yesterday the heirs to the throne and i drove up to Tulsa to help Grampy move some wood that has been needing transferred for a few months now. Actually, it turned out that the curing that occurred during the few months it did get to sit helped some in the whole process. Looks like about a good cord and a half of sweet smelling, great burning pecan. It still needs splitting but thats gonna be another day. It must've been a huge tree, and pecan is dense, heavy wood as it is. Some of the largest pieces were a couple hundred pounds. I knew there was no way i was lifting them into the truck myself so i acquired some help from my cousin Dustin. Before he arrived i decided, as usual, to "work smarter, not harder" as Dustin termed it. I used some tricks from the ancients (Egyptians, Greeks and Romans) and built a crude step system out of some of the larger flatter pieces of the trunk. Then i just rolled the 200 pounders up the steps and into the truckbed. Of course all i had to do when i got them to the elders casa was just kick'em out on to the ground in a pile to be split. My adoring fans, who were watching the entire unloading process, were in awe of my brute strength and wondered how in the world i had gotten those behemoths in the truck by myself. I left them to think that i was a Marvel Comic Super hero and went and got another load. By the time Dustin arrived, i had pretty much left about 8-10 of the largest, bulkiest pieces. We still used the steps, these were the lowest parts of the base of the trunk, and they were HOSSES. But obviously, they were no match for Super Colossus and Wolverine (notice the trees in the picture). I always wanted to be Wolverine. I hope that's cool with you Dustin, Super Colossus is bigger than me.

OK enough of the testosterone, suffice to say, it was a big freaking tree. Grampy said it was as tall as the surrounding trees which are all at 50-60' and when we were done, Dustin and i were talking about it and decided to try to determine the trees age. I counted the annual rings and came up with 48. So, we decided it was a 50 year old tree, just in case i missed a couple. I have a feeling this isn't the last i'll see of these mammoth chunks, there's splitting to be done and Grampy can't haul them around so in the infamous words of The Terminator "I'll be back".

Oh yeah, before i forget...special thanks to the Princesses for their supporting actress roles of Elektra and She Hulk.