Saturday, August 09, 2008


i just couldn't let this languish in the bowels of comments...this was something i left over at Bou's regarding her post, which was gotta go read.

I was in a hotel restroom once, quietly taking care of business...same scenario...dude walks in(somewhat quickly to the next door stall) yammering on his cell phone. I really didn't care until...i have no idea what this dudes large intestine was dealing with but he went completely... volcanic...i mean, my initial thought was "Houston, we have lift off!" Seriously, i was struggling just to trying to control my mirth! and the dude never missed a beat on his phone...apparently she even HEARD it! His response? "(ahem)...Uhhhh yeah, i'm in the bathroom...So what were you saying?" And there i sat next door, with my hands over my mouth, turning red from holding my breath to keep from completely losing all sense of control. It would've been cool to let the thunder roll, knowing he would get the blame but i had nothing left in the tank.


Anonymous said...


1) No talking to each other(exemption: young children need instruction).

2) Eyes straight ahead! And for heaven's sake, absolutely no eye contact!

3) Whenever possible, skip a urinal/stall. Only go side-by-side when it's a packed house.

4) No food(exemption: gum is OK, but NO bubble blowing...)

5) No talking on the cell phone. If it rings, carefully punch the "silent" button...if it's important they will leave a message.

6) When blowing out the toilet, pause if possible for "guests"(exemption: when someone else is breaking one of the other rules.)

7) If it's truly a trophy, leave it for the next guy. If it's not, don't be a moron, flush it!

This was spur of the moment so you may need to add something, Piper. This would be great material for our radio show! Moondoggie

diamond dave said...

Maybe we need an open post on this subject where everybody could comment on something to add to the Bathroom Rules list.

I'll add one right now - No food or drink in the restroom EVER!! Leave your 7-Eleven Big Gulp outside the door!

Bou said...

Your comment and Dave's had me laughing out loud. Holy crap! No pun intended. I was dying.

Bag Blog said...

I think it is one of those "Venus vs. Mars" things. Jesse had a story of being at work last week. She walked all the way to an isolated restroom to do her business so that no one would be in the restroom with her. Unfortunately, another lady came in. Jes said that they both sat there in silence waiting on the other one to start, finish and leave, but no one started. Finally Jes said, “I can’t do this with someone else in here.” The other lady agreed. Jesse left to find another restroom. Women don’t really want to even be heard tinkling much less farting. Phone conversation is taboo. Now as you get older and have been married with children, those inhibitions diminish.

Bo said...

What about the short/handicap urinals? I hate 'em. Well...its not so much that I hate them, they just aren't strategically placed. Usually, they are placed so that to keep it is impossible to maintain the 1 urinal buffer area, which leaves me it a bit of a quandary. Use a next door urinal or the shorty?

Balancing Act said...

... and I thought cell phones in the movies were bad. I would hate to be the girl that is dating that kind of guy. She must know because she heard everything.

Bob said...

There's no sound prettier than the clank of a cell phone in the urinal -- but you have to listen carefully because that plastic-on-porcelain melody is usually drowned out by the profanity of the guy who just let the phone slip from between his shoulder and ear.