$700 Chocolate Chips

Been doing a lot of yard work this weekend. Got a long ways to go. I suppose I should go out and take some before and after pics...
OK, I’m back.

See, it all started when… (cue the rewind sound)

Questions the Queen, “Do we have any chocolate chips?”
“Uh, yeah, I’m pretty sure, they should be in the freezer.”
“Well, I was wanting to make some chocolate chip cookies.“ So she looks and finds two bags, both opened, both nearly empty ( I have a bad habit). Holding both bags aloft she deduces, “I don’t think this will be quite enough for the cookies.”

I decide quickly that a Wal-Mart trip is imminent.

So off I go to Devil Mart for chocolate chips, knowing full well that I wanted to price some of those above ground pools, you know…for the kids. Of course, the Queen and I had already discussed my Father’s Day present and this was in the mix. So, there I was gawking at the 12’ (no way, baby bear), 16’ (warming up but still Mama Bear), or The 18’(Hey, now were talking 6,423 gallons of Papa Bear sized summer fun!) Sure, that’s 6,423 gallons is the RECOMMENDED level…I’m certain we could run it up to at LEAST 6,700! Oh yeah, we need chemicals. Oh yeah, we do have kids that have no flotation assistance…let’s see…floaties, rings, sweet little wetsuits. Oh yeah, better throw in a couple floatation devices for the King and Queen for when the octane level in the margaritas hit’s the upper 90’s. Oh yeah, splash bombs, you gotta have splash bombs! Oh yeah, the chocolate chips…OMG, WHAT??? HOW MUCH??? So, I went to get chocolate chips and drop seven Franklin’s and some change! After 3 other guys help me load it in the back of the Suburban Ussault Vehicle I’m off for the hacienda, every window in the vehicle wide open, including the sunroof, feeling like a little Jimmy Buffett “Rag Top Day”. I gotta tell ya, I’m pretty stoked…we are now the proud owner’s of a POOL. This has been a dream for like…oh, 35 years.

So I roll up, jump out, and it hits me…“I just dropped 7 bills on the Queen!” of course, its not like she didn’t know…I did call her from…the Mart. But SEVEN BILLS. I stroll casually in, drop the receipt on the kitchen counter, smile, about face and proceed immediately back to the party wagon and start dragging out my booty/pillage/spoils. I dump it all in the garage floor wanting to swim in the gear, but I refrained, it was a good decision cuz...The Queen steps out and says, “Think we should call the girls?” (they were playing next door). Oh yeah, I guess we should. So I called them over and we all dove in. It was like Christmas in June!

After the initial festivities, I thought, “Well, I guess I better get this thing set up.” There was no way I was gonna try to drag, dolly, or God forbid, carry this monstrosity. So I hop in, and like any good Tim the ToolMan Taylor guy and drive it between the houses and into the backyard. I jump out, survey the grounds and think, “I gotta mow this grass down first.” Out comes the Honda Grass Beast. I stake out my claim and begin the process of harvesting the last week of growth (and believe me, with the amount of rain we’ve had a week makes plenty of grass). In the process The Beast coughs grass clippings all over the SUV i had spent most of the previous day washing, vacuuming and detailing. About the time I’m finishing the last swath I realize that the ground slopes entirely too much, we’re gonna have a deep and shallow end in the 18’ diameter pool. I need some dirt work done. Boy there goes at least another Franklin. So I call a friend who does this for a living and he’s booked until next Thursday or Friday. I’m thinking, “Well, I’ve got time now, and this place really needs to be ready when he gets here so…I fire up The Beast and begin harvesting the last four months of growth in the back of the backyard, yeah its only about three feet tall now. Oh yeah, and let’s burn that brush pile while we’re at it…

Four and a half hours later, two of which are after dark, I’m pushing the last few twigs (at least what I can still see) into the embers of the fire. It took nearly a gallon of gas, some newspaper, three boxes from the garage, and a serious amount of pyrotechnical skill to get that wet, semi-green brush pile to ignite and finally burn.

I have my backyard at 85% readiness for Jesse on Friday. I even have a patio extension staked out. All that’s left to do now is harvest the remnants where the brush pile was.

Man, buying chocolate chips is exhausting…and expensive